One of the most notable celebrations during February is Valentine’s Day, where people hold and believe many romantic notions. Considering love is a complex concept of life, several existing myths about love have been passed down through generations.
Let us explore and debunk these common misconceptions about romance to shed light on widespread beliefs.
Opposites Attract
Many people believe that compatibility lies in the idea of ‘opposites attract’ just like the poles in a magnet. With relationships, this belief can be complicated and partners in opposites may not attract in every situation.
According to a study conducted by Zsófia Csajbók and Peter Jonason, it is statistically inaccurate that two individuals with opposing traits will immediately fall in love. People’s differences are not the reason for their ‘good relationship bond’ but rather their commitment, compatibility, and similarity in life aspects.
It is proven by a 2013 study by eHarmony that similarities in age, intellect, religion, and education level are some foundations for a healthy relationship and long-lasting relationship. Yet couples who possess differences in terms of ethnicity, culture, and goals can still have common personalities, values, ethics, and principles that can increase romantic connection.
Csajbók and Jonason highlight two possible reasons why people choose partners who appear to have opposite traits: first, yin-yang thinking, a belief in finding someone who has the ‘strength’ to complement weaknesses to establish harmony, and second, childhood experiences.
Teenage Fantasy
During adolescence, teenagers tend to experience more romance. At this stage, there are idealizations of the ‘perfect relationship,’ viewing love through a lens of fantasy and desires. Research published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy revealed that young people, particularly teenage boys, can sometimes have ‘highly risky ways’ to maintain or build romantic relationships.
This includes unrealistic expectations, such as believing in ‘blind love,’ thinking that love alone is enough to sustain a relationship, and tolerating controlling behaviors like manipulation and abuse. In reality, despite love being crucial, it is not the sole ingredient to have a healthy relationship.
According to Newport Academy, teenagers sometimes get confused about what love truly is; it may be confused with infatuation, lust, or just an emotional need brought by hormones. Relationships require more than just strong feelings, centering on mutual trust, respect, and communication.
Till Death Do Us Part
The phrase ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ is commonly heard during wedding or union ceremonies, which means that this vow is a lifelong commitment to someone that will only be broken if someone dies. However, this is not always the case, especially in a progressive society, where polygamous relationships are becoming more well-known.
Some people believe that the end of monogamy signals the end of love, but Zhana Vrangalova, a professor at New York University, explains that the desire to explore non-monogamous arrangements does not equate to the loss of love. The professor argues that love should not be confined to a single concept that every couple should follow.
Monogamy is not the only path to a lasting relationship; love is complex and dynamic, and individuals, in or out of relationships, should have the freedom to define and express it in ways based on their values.
Love at First Sight
Initial attraction or ‘butterflies in the stomach’ are what people feel whenever they encounter an instant click or connection with someone. This spark may often be confused with love, arguing that it is ‘love at first sight.’
However, a 2017 study by Florian Zsok suggests that love at first sight is not as magical as people paint it to be. It was found that initial feelings of attraction are often based on physical appearance rather than an emotional bond, which is not meant for longer relationships.
These initial attractions can still develop into love over time, which one can focus on from physical admiration to emotional and psychological connection.
Despite having a lot of myths and misconceptions, it is important to remember that love is never a one-size-fits-all concept; it is a dynamic experience that has many layers to understand and takes many forms, where these experiences can strengthen and deepen romantic relationships.
By understanding the essence of love and romance rather than quickly falling for misconceptions, we eliminate the distortion of realistic expectations of what love should and could be.
